Mum Gemma has just come out of prison and she's already back on the streets turning to sex work to fund her drug habit claiming she's stuck in a 'catch 22'.
The mum-of-two is homeless and is charging for sex to raise money – she admits she gets £25 for oral sex, £50 for sex, £100-£200 for a night.
"I got £40 the other day for a girlfriend experience, we just went out for a few beers and a few cigarettes," she says smiling.
She's returned to lived in a car park in Swindon, her hometown, so she can remain close to her children who she hasn't seen for more than a year.
Gemma still applies makeup and tries to look good, determined to look her best for clients and for herself.
Her story is just one in the first episode of Life After Lock Up, Channel 4's new documentary on tonight, shining a light on the lives of eight convicted criminals as they deal with life after prison.
Gemma shows producers what life after prison is life and her attempts to reintegrate into society, but she soon returns to old habits after serving six weeks for shoplifting and criminal damage.
Figures show more than half of prisoners will be back behind bars within 12 months of their release, with re-offending estimated to cost UK taxpayers £15 billion a year.
Like many much of her offending stems from her drug habit, she also suffers from psychosis and bipolar disorder and says she has hit 'suicidal lows'.
"When you're living like this, prison's a nicer alternative," she says.
Out on the street she has been so hungry she's turned to desperate measures.
"I've jumped in skip and got food when I've been that hungry," she adds.
Gemma was living in a car park in Swindon even before she was jailed after she ran away from a three-bedroom home she shared with her ex who she says beat her up.
She claims her ex-boyfriend knocked two teeth out, broke her cheekbone, broke her jaw, split her head open and broke her nose. He has never been charged.
Gemma claims she didn't press charges because he was a "good dad" and "you put up with things when you're in love".
Her children were also taken away by social services and now live with their extended family – she hasn't seen them for more than a year.
"To have them taken off you when you've brought them up on your own to the ages of five and six basically, not good, I hadn't had a day away from them when they took them," she says.
Gemma has been on the street for 14 month. While she spent her first few nights in a bed and breakfast provided by the council it was 20 miles away and she preferred to stay in her hometown even if it meant sleeping rough.
She talks about prison fondly to producers.
"I love prison, I ain't gonna lie," Gemma said. "If you want to be clean, prison is the best place for you."
Gemma even asked for a custodial sentence when the judge sentenced her to try to avoid living on the streets during winter.
"It's dry and you're getting fed," she says. "When you're living like this prison is the nicer alternative."
Her life now is back in the cycle of drugs, homelessness and sex work which she says "numb your pain".
In Life After Lock Up Gemma is seen getting high, which she says is close to the "best high in your life" such as holding your baby for the first time.
"You know your highest high in life…it's nearly up there with that," she says smiling showing her knocked out teeth.
Gemma claims she used to spend about £1,800 a day on illegal substances, spending £400,000 on cocaine and crack in her first six months on them, though she doesn't say where that money came from.
“I’ve been in stilettos around the swimming pool, sniffing as much coke as I can, smoking as much crack as I can," she says. "I ain't got s*** now.”
Now she's shown getting crumble and a hot chocolate from Alternative Angels, volunteers who serve warm food and drinks to those in need.
Crying on a car park floor, Gemma says she is trying to turn her life around and has been asking for help for her mental health issues as well housing for the past 14 months, but she's stuck in a catch 22.
Describing her situation she calls it "torture" adding she can't deal with her "head space" without drugs and without her children.
Gemma gets some pleasure from doing her makeup and looking good saying it "makes [her] feel better" – it also helps with clients.
“I love doing my makeup and that. Just because I've been homeless doesn't mean that I don't paint my toenails and I don't wash and I don't do my makeup," she says.
"What's the point crying, it doesn't solve s*** does it?" she adds with tears in her eyes. "It's not just me is it? Look at how many homeless people there are?"
The first episode also follows Chris as he's released from HMP Leeds after serving 32 years for murder, Rhys a young offender who wants to show him mum he's learnt his lesson and Azhar, 41, who is trying to rebuild his family's trust in him after serving three-and-a-half years for burglary.
There's also Jason, 46, who has been in and out of prison since the age of 13. He's now nervous as to how he'll cope with life on "the out".
Life After Lock Up is on tonight on Channel 4 at 10pm.
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