George Michael was lying ice cold in bed — but his lover Fadi Fawaz could not bring himself to believe the singer was dead.
Revealing the harrowing details of his discovery of the superstar’s body, Fadi said yesterday: “Part of me thought George could have been so cold because he had his fan on.”
It was only when an ambulance arrived that the former hairdresser accepted the truth.
In an extraordinary new statement about life with the troubled star, Fadi wrote: “I thought, ‘That’s it, he finally did it.’ ”
Writing for the first time at length about the shocking events, George’s lover revealed the singer — hopelessly addicted to party drug GHB — had previously tried to kill himself four times, including stabbing himself 25 times when he was in rehab.
In astonishing posts on Instagram recalling their years together, Fadi explained: “All he wanted to do was die.”
Fadi, now 45, met George in 2009 and began dating him in 2011 — a love that ended when he found George, 53, dead in his home in Goring-on-Thames, Oxon, on Christmas Day 2016.
Here is his raw and intimate story of their life together in his own words.
“I first met George in 2009 when he still had a live-in partner.
“Our relationship was a sexual one, but George wouldn’t have sex unless he had taken GHB, a drug also known as G.
“After approximately two months he took me out to dinner and asked me to date him officially but I said no, as he still had his partner in the house and I could not tolerate his use of GHB.
“He called me again the following day but after that time we didn’t see each other for about three years.”
Fadi’s account then jumps forwards to 2011, when he began dating George and joined him on tour after the singer swore he was clean — which was, in fact, a lie. Fadi writes: “In Vienna, he fell ill. He had pneumonia and was unconscious for about 12 days. Approximately five weeks later, George was OK.
“Everything was lovely but we had really only been dating for two weeks before he fell ill and our relationship had changed. Whilst George was still skinny from his illness, I saw him with cocaine in aluminum foil. He told me that it was [cocaine]. Nobody knew about this. George also had something brown, I don’t know what crack looks like.
“George told me that he didn’t want to use and he wasn’t happy that he was taking it. He was never the same again after [contracting] pneumonia.
“Our romance died. George started to openly use GHB again. George would mix G into a drink of Coke. He would not hide the fact he was doing it. He always drank it all, never leaving any.
I told him, ‘One day I’m going to come and find you dead.’”
Then came a stint in rehab, followed by an incident in May 2013 when George fell from a car being driven by a friend.
It was described as an accident at the time but Fadi reveals it was, in fact, a suicide bid.
“George was so depressed at that time that he didn’t want to live. George threw himself out of the vehicle whilst they were driving on the M1.”
The incident was a turning point and, after another stint in rehab, George asked Fadi to move into his home in Goring, promising to give up GHB — but not quit smoking cocaine.
“George is a very sensitive sleeper and told me that I snore and move around a lot, and as a result we had our own bedrooms.
“We had not shared a room since drifting apart after the [car] incident.
“George told me to take the master bedroom but I said no and chose a room on the ground floor where I worked.
“Sometimes George would ask me to go up to bed with him, but I would always return to my own room.”
“Their unusual arrangement would prove crucial in the hours before his death on Christmas Day in 2016 — after a row the day before.
“George had taken to his bed and Fadi also napped until 5pm.
“I got up and kept looking upstairs towards George’s bedroom door. George always sleeps with the door slightly open. Every time I looked, the door never changed position.
“I know he usually sleeps until 6pm and so I waited, I felt in a really good mood.
“It came to 7pm. George and I have this relationship thing where if we have upset each other he would refuse to come down and I would refuse to go up. It got to 7.30pm.
“ I started to feel a bit down and wondered if I should just go to London, but I didn’t really want to go. After eating I went to my room.
“I thought that if he was avoiding me, this would give him the freedom to come down and he could come and see me if he wanted to.
“I then fell asleep. On the 25th December, Christmas Day, I woke up. I have no idea what time.
“I got up and looked upstairs. I saw that George’s door had not moved, nor had I heard any movement.
“I decided to go and see if he was in. Because of past experience though, I was subconsciously worried too. Nothing was out of place in the room. The bed was so neat. His face looked normal but his fingers were blue. He wanted to die so badly. He’d once stabbed himself 25 times
“I had always told him, “Don’t do this to me”. I looked in his room and saw that he was in bed. There were no lights on. George never has a light on, he doesn’t even like the slightest bit of light when he sleeps.
“I went in and out of the room three times to see if he was breathing. I only took one step into the room.
“There are some steps up and then the bed. I guess I was about two meters away from the bed.
“Now that I was close to him I could see that his right hand was up to his face, with his fist clenched, with his fingers curled against his cheek.
“His face looked normal. I saw that his legs were together but looked tense under the covers. I couldn’t see any vomit.
“I touched him, but he was cold. I couldn’t tell that he was dead until I saw his fingers were blue.
“I was shaking him and saying, ‘George, George’ but he was dead.”
It was about 1:45 p.m. on the afternoon of Christmas Day. Fadi called his niece and also George’s best friend and producer David Austin, 56, before dialing 999, the emergency telephone number in the UK.
“When I spoke to David he said to put water on George but I said ‘I’m not doing that. He is dead.’ David said to call 999, so I rang them.
“When the ambulance arrived the lady made me feel bad because she said George had been dead a while.
“It was the way she looked at me — it made me feel little. She had no respect for me that was for sure.
“When the police arrived she told them she didn’t know my relationship to George. I am his partner. She made me feel upset, upset with myself.
“Part of me thought that George could have been cold because he had his fan on, and I thought I could see him breathing but he was dead.
“George’s pajamas were on the floor where he would do it every time.
“Nothing was out of place in the room, on the bed or the bedside tables and everything was the same as before.
“There was no sign he struggled or anything. The bed was so neat. Everything was perfect.
“I thought that’s it — he finally did it and I finally saw him dead in his bed.”
“And in horrifying new claims, Fadi detailed how he believed George had repeatedly tried to end his own life — including one attempt when he ended up in hospital in Marylebone, London, for three days.
“I always begged him not to do this but he was so depressed. All he wanted to do is die.
“He has tried to kill himself four times. Whilst in rehab he tried to stab himself 25 times.
“He never told me how he did it when he was taken for three days to Marylebone. I would say, ‘aren’t you glad May 16th didn’t happen?”, referring to one suicide attempt, and he would say no
“He wanted to die so badly and it was powerful to hear him say it.
“I think life stopped for him a long time ago.”
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